Offering Praise is a skill (not a weakness).

Observation 🧐

Giving praise is different than giving feedback

I grew up in a household where praise wasn’t forthcoming. It’s an experience many kids growing up in an immigrant household may find familiar. Praise was coveted, didn’t come easily and was really saved for the most remarkable occasion. 

In the spirit of breaking cycles, when I became a leader (and later a parent), I really made a concerted effort to acknowledge the positive behaviours, to share encouragement and to acknowledge when things go right. 

We spend a lot of time training leaders on how to give developmental feedback. But praise is often overlooked despite its importance. Praise works differently and you must treat it like its own skill set.

Why don’t leaders offer praise?

Despite the fact that delivering praise is easier than constructive feedback, most leaders don’t give enough of it. Leaders who give too much praise may be concerned about being seen as weak. It can feel too soft, too emotional, or too much like hand-holding.

Not to mention, leaders worry that if they give praise too often, it will lose its value. They think recognition should be rare, reserved only for major wins, or used sparingly so it “means more.” Many leaders grew up in environments where silence meant you were doing fine, and attention only showed up when something went wrong. 

This mindset creates a belief that strong leaders stay stoic. That leaders maintain authority by withholding praise. That being generous with it will make reps complacent or dependent.

This is a missed opportunity.  

Why is praise important?

People improve faster when they understand what they do well. But most employees don’t have that clarity. Praise closes the loop. It reinforces what works and it reduces insecurity. And it creates the psychological safety that every high performing team needs.

Research shows employees who receive regular praise:

• Feel more valued

• Stay longer

• Take more initiative

• Perform better

Here are 6 key principles to follow when offering Praise: 

1: Practice taking notice of what’s going well

You can’t praise what you don’t see. Leaders often watch for errors, not strengths. This creates a coaching bias that tilts negative. Train your brain to scan for excellence. Spot patterns of competence your reps can’t yet see.

Your rep may not realize when they are doing something that is the gold standard or better than their peers. You must name them so they can repeat them.

2: Be specific

The key to making your praise feel meaningful and authentic is to make it specific, not generic. 

Your praise should include:

• The behaviour

• The impact

• The reason it matters

Example:

“You handled that pricing pushback by staying quiet for two seconds. That pause made the customer fill the silence and reveal the real objection. That skill will win you bigger deals.”

Now the rep knows exactly what to do again.

Specific praise:

• Builds confidence

• Reinforces habits

• Turns strengths into superpowers

3: Deliver praise quickly

Just like with any feedback, timing is everything. You must deliver it near the moment. This allows the rep to emotionally connect the behaviour with the recognition.

Delayed praise feels like a performance review, not a leadership moment. Silence can signal failure for some people, so the sooner you can acknowledge what went right, the better. Timely praise builds trust.  

Even highest achievers can be insecure and self critical. When you praise quickly, you interrupt the negative stories they tell themselves and replace them with clarity and confidence.

4: Praise in public

One of the easiest ways to inject positivity into your team culture is to celebrate wins publicly. 

When you praise someone in front of peers, you:

• Model what good looks like

• Reinforce team standards

• Strengthen culture

Public praise also unlocks something powerful. It gives your team permission to praise each other. That creates a culture where everyone looks for strengths, not just flaws.

5: Match the praise to the person

Let’s face it, praise can make people feel uncomfortable. Especially those of us who never received it growing up, it can feel difficult to receive it. 

The way you offer praise must feel authentic. Some people prefer spotlight moments, others prefer one on one recognition. Some feel energized by written praise they can digest and revisit.  

Pay attention to what each person needs. Heck, ask them what they need. Then, tailor your delivery in order to maximize its impact 

People receive developmental feedback more deeply when they trust your intent. Tailored praise helps build that trust. When people feel seen and valued, they become more open to correction.  

6: Don’t be afraid to be generous with Praise

Some leaders (and my Asian mother) may feel like giving too much praise devalues it when you receive it. But praise is different from flattery. Flattery can feel like “too much” because it’s vague and can come across as disingenuous. 

In contrast, if the praise is specific and meaningful,  you can never have too much. The opposite (lack of praise) is poison for a team culture. I would much rather work on a team where there is an abundance of praise, not a shortage.  Praise doesn’t have to be scarce or a one-time event for it to feel valuable. 

This means when your team member does something positive for a 2nd and 3rd time, continue to acknowledge it. You are reinforcing the behaviour to cement the feedback. It also shows that you’re paying attention. Reps can’t double down on behaviours they don’t know are working.

Why mastering this matters

Giving praise is not just about “being nice”.  Praise builds the emotional scaffolding for high performance. It turns competence into confidence.

Positive feedback balances the weight of developmental coaching. If reps only hear what is going wrong, they burn out. It’s only when they hear both, can they grow.

Great leaders identify excellence early, name it clearly, and celebrate it often. Praise makes reps feel seen. People who feel seen try harder.

Thought Starter  🤔

One of my favourite frameworks to collect feedback has been the “Stop / Start / Continue” model. You categorize feedback for recipients:

• What they should consider doing less of (Stop)

• What are new approaches to consider  (Start)

• What they should do more of (Continue). 

The biggest mistake I see leaders make is to pad the “continue” bucket with pleasantries. They use this section to balance out the feedback and make the constructive feedback easier to absorb. 

The “continue” bucket isn’t about being nice. It isn’t meant to make the recipient feel good before they receive the “real” constructive feedback. 

Praise allows employees to learn not only what’s working well but why it’s working well. When we don’t receive meaningful direction on the “continue” section, this is a missed opportunity. If we must then self determine what to “continue” and that can be difficult to do. 

Love 🥰

If you want to go deeper on this topic, I highly recommend Mel Robbins’ podcast episode “The Missing Piece to Self-Confidence.”

I love this episode because Mel breaks down something most leaders forget: people don’t magically become confident. They become confident when they have evidence that they’re doing things right. That’s exactly what praise provides.

She explains why high achievers doubt themselves, why silence often lands as “I’m failing,” and why recognizing small wins creates the internal proof people need to keep going.

If you lead people (or if you’re hard on yourself - Hi, me 🙋) this episode is a must-listen. It teaches you why praise is the unlock that can turn competence into confidence.