[OTL Newsletter 🎯] You’re receptive to feedback, so why aren’t you getting any?

Observation 🧐

Getting honest feedback as a leader is hard. The more senior you get, the less feedback you receive. Your title changes how people talk to you and your team filters what they share.

This creates a challenge that must be overcome because in order to improve as a leader, you need constructive feedback from the people you lead. 

Early in my leadership career, I made a point to always ask for feedback. I tried standard tactics:

• “Open door” policy.
• Annual engagement surveys.
• Asking at the end of a meeting: “Any feedback for me?”

Yet I never received anything constructive nor meaningful to act on. 

No feedback doesn’t mean you’re nailing it. It could mean people don’t feel safe telling you what isn’t working.

I realized I wasn’t going to grow as a leader without feedback and I needed a better way to solicit it. 

That’s when I developed this simple framework that helped me turn empty check-ins into honest, productive conversations.

Here’s how it works:

The 5T Feedback Framework

1️⃣ Timing

Mistake: I treated feedback like an event rather than a process. Stop waiting for the perfect moment. You don’t need to schedule a quarterly feedback session. Ask regularly and casually.

The fix: Create a rhythm of regular opportunities to receive feedback. This isn't just tacking on "any feedback for me?" at the end of every meeting. It's about deliberately scheduling moments where feedback is requested. 

Also make it known that you will be asking for feedback, this allows your team to have time to prepare something thoughtful and meaningful. 

Some approaches that work:

• After a meeting, when you debrief and share feedback with your direct, ask them if they have feedback for you. 
• Monthly "leadership temperature checks" in one-on-ones. 
• "Feedback Fridays" where team members can submit thoughts via a simple form
• Assign a designated “Truth Teller” to capture feedback from the team and bring it to you in a conversation. This is a person who is seen as a leader amongst peers and is comfortable enough to bring difficult feedback to your attention.  

Why does this work?: When feedback is expected and routine, it becomes less threatening to give (and receive).

2️⃣ Tailor

Mistake: I used to use a one-size-fits-all approach, asking everyone for feedback in the same way. 

The fix: Different people have different communication preferences. 

Some thoughts:

• Your more introverted team members might prefer providing written feedback before discussing it. 
• Extroverts might do better with spontaneous, face-to-face conversations. 
• Some feedback is better collected anonymously, especially on sensitive topics. 
• Certain team members might feel more comfortable in group settings where others validate their perspectives and there is an opportunity to add “+1” to feedback as opposed to surfacing it themselves.

Why does this work? By paying attention to how each team member communicates naturally, you’re more likely to get what’s really on their mind. 

3️⃣ Trust

Mistake: I have prided myself on being an approachable leader, easy to talk to and open to feedback. I thought saying "I want feedback" was enough to get honest input. But what really matters is whether people feel safe giving it.

The fix: Trust is built through consistent behavior that demonstrates:

• You can handle difficult truths without becoming defensive. 
• Reflection: How have you behaved in the past when receiving feedback?
• You genuinely value perspectives different from your own. 
• Reflection: How have you shown appreciation for feedback you’ve received? 
• You follow through on the feedback you receive. 
• Reflection: How have you shown that their feedback was heard and share updates on what new approaches you’re taking?
• You protect people who speak up, never punishing candor. 
• Reflection: Has your relationship changed with directs when you received feedback you disagreed with?

If you’ve made missteps in the past, the sooner you own up to them, the sooner you can start to rebuild the trust with your team. 

Why does this work? There is a real power imbalance when seeking feedback from your direct reports. They can feel exposed and vulnerable when giving constructive feedback.  You need to build trust if you want to get “real” feedback. 

4️⃣ Tactical

Mistake: In hindsight, my requests for feedback were way too general: "How am I doing as a manager?", “Any feedback for me?

The fix: Get specific with your questions. Instead of broad inquiries, try targeted ones like:

• "What's one thing I could do to make our weekly team meetings more effective?"
• "How could I better support you during client presentations?"
• "On our recent project, what was one decision I made that you might have approached differently?"

You can also use feedback models that make it easier to consolidate feedback. For example, STOP/START/CONTINUE is a model that allows you to get feedback on the things that aren’t working (STOP), things that are missing (START) and what is working (CONTINUE). By categorizing the feedback, it feels less personal and more constructive. 

Why does this work? The more specific the question, the more actionable the feedback.

5️⃣ Thanks

Mistake: I didn't realize how my initial reaction to feedback was shutting down future input. Even subtle defensive responses (like facial expressions) sent the message that I wasn't really open to hearing more.

The fix: Treat feedback as the gift it is:

• Respond first with genuine appreciation, regardless of content
• Resist the urge to explain or justify
• Ask follow-up questions that deepen your understanding
• Circle back later to share what you're doing with their input

One practice that's been powerful: After receiving significant feedback, I send a short thank-you note specifically acknowledging the courage it took to share and outlining my commitment to addressing it.

Why does this work? Feedback is a gift. You won’t always agree with the feedback, but showing gratitude builds trust with your team. It allows you to let your team know they were heard. Nothing builds trust faster than actually doing something with the feedback you asked for.

The Results

This framework changed the quality and quantity of feedback I received. More importantly, it allowed me to make meaningful changes to how I lead and that directly improved team performance and satisfaction.

Your Turn

If you're struggling to get honest feedback from your team, I challenge you to try the 5T Framework for the next 30 days:

1. Set up regular Timing for feedback conversations. 
2. Tailor your approach to each team member. 
3. Build Trust by responding constructively. 
4. Get Tactical and ask specific questions.
5. Show genuine Thanks for every piece of input.

The best leaders don’t just ask for feedback. They act on it, adapt and evolve. That’s what separates leaders who stay stagnant from the ones who grow into the next level.

Thought Starter  🤔

Love 🥰

A great book that is packed with insights on how to deliver tough feedback is Crucial Conversations. You can draw upon concepts from this book every day in your interactions with colleagues, spouses, and friends.